Sheldon quotes (I, Me and Myself)

Sheldon quotes

I cry beacause others are stupid and it makes me sad.


I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!


Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Shhhhh!!!!

Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.

Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.

Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.

Sheldon: I'M BATMAN!!!! SHHHH!!!


Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.

Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?

Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of "friends with benefits."


Sheldon: Penny. 

Penny: Yeah. 

Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here. 

Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie. 

Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.


*Sheldon trying to figure out the card-trick*

Penny: No big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun!

Sheldon: "Not knowing is part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?


I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.


I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.


What type of Computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.


Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur! Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Pur, Pur, Pur!

Penny: Are you saying that Amy is... Oh, what's the scientific word...

Sheldon: Forget science: she's horny.


Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing. 

Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?

Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.


She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could eat me up!


Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.

Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled dolphins.


Penny: Sheldon have you changed your wireless password again?

Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny get your own WiFi"; no spaces.


No butts, no cuts, no coconuts.


There there, everything is going to be fine... Sheldon's here!


Come back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.


Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny!


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